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The Creek at Mylor

A single beacon haunts the creek,
Patrolled by silhouettes
Of Cornish folk and Kernow’s fleet.

The tide has ploughed
With its hand and has chalked
Its way home, to sea and cloud.

The trees on the skyline shake a fist
Against the saddened midnight mist.

The evening fled without a fight,
Summoning this empty night.


Firewood

Until I run out of firewood
I will always pine for you.
The kindling carries a constant glow,
The wood bursts; it does not matter if it should.
A whirlwind engulfs all I knew,
From the ash anything can grow.


One Week

“You are what I do not want”
is refreshing, even when heard
for the hundredth time. Now said
not just once but for many weeks.

So now I am weak and enact  
anything you say.
You fall asleep and I listen
for my name in your dreams.

Hooded in hair you hide,
Even your tongue is closed,
Even now your lips are closed:
I am what you do not want.

Your words rolled into one mass
Which knocked me so far down into
A hopeless premise; this is what you wanted.
On my back I stare at you.


Irreparable

He got back in his car and reversed
all the way up the lanes and A roads.
As he approached the spot, the fox
he had strewn across the road did not
retrace his steps, nor his death. So
he broke down in the road.

When in search of diamonds deal out
the spades and dig into the cards. Become
your own king, until you are fooled
by fifty-two card pickup. Spend all
your time unshuffling but they’re
mixed with another pack and torn into four.

When I get home I lie crying
by the bin, pulling the egg shells out,
stuffing the yoke back in.
I use up all the tape and still,
if I nurse them under a warm lamp,
not one chick will be born this year.


A Waste of Time

We woke up at one o’clock
Without a name.
On the wood was left a note
Written in flame,

Which spread across the blankness
“This seat is insecure.”
So when we sat upon it
Our minds became unsure.

At the shore he held in his arms
A little buoy.
Cast him out to sea:
His idleness we must employ.

In the mourning we felt empty
For we had killed another day.
We spent it preparing for the end
And drinking to drown our dismay.


St. Ives in July

My clothes give the impression of wings,
If I jump I will fly from here.
One million eyes all roofed in slate,
One million waves all roofed in cloud.

A graveyard slopes into the sea
As if it wished to join the fish.
The dark marks on the sea show
Seals which swim from shore.

This church stands from time immemorial;
I remain until time unknown.
The wind stirs my mind and helps to find
A stolid contentment, to which I will return.
©2008-2010 ~J-Baxter
:iconj-baxter:

Author's Comments

I recently spent a week in Cornwall, England.
This is a collection of poetry written there.

EDITED - esp irreparable 2nd stanza
your thoughts on this edit would be greatly appreciated!

Comments


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:iconforwinds:
I think my fav out of these is "Irreparable". Although, the imagery throughout is amazing. :heart:

--
Band geek and proud of it! :heart:

(Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?)
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs.
:iconj-baxter:
thanks!!

--
just got to keep you in mind as something larger than life
:iconteasersp:
From The Creek at Maylor:

'The trees on the skyline shake a fist
Against the saddened midnight mist.'

I really like that rhyme. It was a slightly unexpected combination to me, and I particularly like the use of 'fist'. I can really see it.

From Firewood:

'The wood bursts; it does not matter if it should.
A whirlwind engulfs all I knew,
From the ash anything can grow.'

True. This is really beautiful, but is pine meant to be like, a pun on pine trees?

From One Week:

'You fall asleep and I listen
for my name in your dreams.'

That, is impressive.

From Irreperable:

'When I get home I lie crying
by the bin, pulling the egg shells out,
stuffing the yoke back in.
I use up all the tape and still,
if I nurse them under a warm lamp,
not one chick will be born this year.'

That's a great picture, I can really see it.

From A Waste of Time:

'At the shore he held in his arms
A little buoy.
Cast him out to sea:
His idleness we must employ.'

I'm not sure about the rhyme here...but I like the way you've used 'buoy'.

From St. Ives in July:

'A graveyard slopes into the sea
As if it wished to join the fish.'

Perfect.

Sorry, that was really long, but I felt like talking about each one in its own right. Overall, this is a really strong set of poems, and I really love them. Well done!

--
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
:iconj-baxter:
thanks for taking teh time to comment on them all!

and yes ';pine' is a pun!

--
just got to keep you in mind as something larger than life
:iconteasersp:
Aha! I knew it.

No worries :)

--
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
:iconmiksedene:
so this is what you were writing! gd stuff.

though i must say, ';pine' in firewood feels like a bad pun.

--
\\\"The Death Of Dogma Is The Birth Of Reality\\\"
:iconnyctophiliac:
One Week -
"You fall asleep and I listen
for my name in your dreams" = general greatness.

Irreperable = :+favlove:

A Waste of Time -
"In the mourning we felt empty
For we had killed another day.
We spent it preparing for the end
And drinking to drown our dismay."
I think this is probably the best stanza, mainly because I think this one could stand on its own and probably still sum up the overall feeling pretty well (presuming I haven't completely misinterpreted it somewhere along the way). The structure works well: the rhyme of "day" and "dismay" works in that it strengthens the notion that the day is/has been essentially fruitless; also, when you couple the fact that it's a pretty standard rhyme with the fact that the lines are (just about - the third's longer by a syllable) the same length, the overall sound of the stanza's pretty bleak. Which, here, is a good thing :thumbsup:
But I can't quite take "this seat is insecure" seriously =P

St. Ives in July -
I didn't notice this the first time, but I really like
"The dark marks on the sea show
Seals which swim from shore."
I tried reading it aloud and the combination of the sibiliance and the long vowel sounds work really well :)
:iconj-baxter:
thanks!!

yeah, it is lol

--
just got to keep you in mind as something larger than life
:iconj-baxter:
yay thank you for your crazy crit, as i shall call it for no reason at all!!

and for teh :+favlove:

--
just got to keep you in mind as something larger than life

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July 28, 2008
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